Whirlibird

It has been a very long time since I have written. I am not particularly sure why this is. Sure, I have thought about it multiple times, but then, have found other things I have thought I needed to do. I always forget that writing clears my mind, even just a little.

My life has changed drastically since my last message on the 17th of February, or whenever that was. In March I was courted whirlwind style by, first, my new boyfriend Tim, and second, by the University I now attend.

I applied to about 6 different positions last December. The first I heard from was the University of Georgia, while on vacation in California. It was an awful interview. I didn't expect to hear back from them, and didn't. For two months. In the interim I had interviewed with almost every other place I had applied, and thought those interviews had gone relatively well; however, I never received an offer from any of them.

In March I received an email asking if I was still interested in the position at the University of Georgia. My affirmation was followed a week later by a second phone interview, and two weeks later by an on-campus interview. Three weeks later I received an offer.

Through some sort of unbelievable luck I landed myself in a good financial and professional development situation where I will be working for my Masters in Kines/ Athletic Training. From then began a crazy rush to accomplish all of the things I needed to in Madison before I departed. I feel that I had little time to think about what was actually happening. The truth was I had too many things, too many beginnings with no end. Too many projects and too many loose and frayed strings dangling. I was frenzied trying to arrange all things Georgian while also taking care of my projects in Madison.

The storage unit was cleared out. My project at my grandparents was not completed. I had spent a lot of time attempting to sell unwanted items from their basement, but when I left there was still much to be done. I did not have enough time or money for all of the things I wanted to accomplish. I think that is life, though. You never can quite accomplish everything you wish you could. There is not enough time in the day.

I tried to spend as much time as I could with my friends. Pressure mounted between Tim and me, as it was not reasonable to expect him to follow me. We hadn't been dating for that long; the risk too great. He had applied to jobs in a variety of locales but with no real results.

I enjoyed the last "normal" sailing season, as much as I could. The Union has already started to be torn up for remodelling purposes, causing the Hoofers piers and boats to be shifted and put away prematurely. Before I left I got one last Pirate's Day and Commodore's Cup.

July went by far too fast. Early in July it began to sink in that I was leaving my home of 23+ years, that I was leaving everyone I knew, and I was leaving everything I was familiar with. This sounds naive, I realize. It is cliched, I realize. Nonetheless, I begrudgingly packed up my belongings and dragged them behind me to Georgia. I returned to Madison for a week and a half, living out of a suitcase during Commodore's Cup. We had a fantastic team of awesome people this year. Half of my team from the prior year, when we were the Moist Sand Dunes, was on my team this year. The remainder of the team was a mix of good friends, new sailors, and experienced sailors. We had everything, and we were good friends with the Commodore and Vice Commodore.

Our team name was Kommodore's Kart, and we were Mario Kart themed. Our costumes were fabulous and everyone was all in. This year a lot of  the teams were trying to lose, and a lot of teams did nothing or very little for the team parties and dinners. It was a little sad to see. We also saw further crackdown by the power-hungry Union staff, which was equally disheartening and saddening.

Despite all this, we had a lot of fun. I am proud that we won the Commodore's Cup this year. The ball, and thus, my last night in Madison, was marred by some unsavory events. But it ultimately can't take away from what we put a lot of effort into all week to achieve.

The day after the ball, I tearfully left everything behind, even Tim. Things were still uncertain with us, but we had a hope that he would be getting into grad school here in Georgia and that things would work out. In time it was hoped he would be following me to Georgia, but things were undetermined. The mounting despair and sadness I had felt the previous two weeks finally came to a head this day. It made for quite the 14.5 hours drive straight through to Georgia. I couldn't think of anything without being upset. This waxed and waned gradually throughout the drive.

The first three weeks here were the most challenging of my life. Clearly not the most challenging weeks a person has ever had to endure; but for me, personally, they have thrown me through a reel. I have never felt so lost, alone, and unsure of myself. Every day, though, I had to show up and act professionally as I was integrated into the orthopedic urgent care center I now work part time at.

I was placed at a high school which has been described to me as "challenging" and "difficult" by everyone who I have spoken to about it. It has been interesting to be alone and learn how to build relationships at this high school on my own as an athletic trainer. So far things have been fine, but there are still places for improvement, and little things that must be worked on.

Nothing has quite been what I expected, but then, what can be in a completely new setting? I have had many days or being lost, missing the bus and being later, everything seemingly going wrong. My car is in dire need of repairs and I did something to my bike that also will be a costly repair. It has been frustrating knowing nothing and feeling helpless in a new city. My boredom was exacerbated by issues setting up my internet that extended for exactly the first three weeks I was here and alone. I was constantly waging phone call wars on AT&T trying to get straight answers from people who didn't really seem interested in helping me; only serving to compound my frustrations.

Tim has been my anchor and the one person holding me together. I've been the most vulnerable I've ever been and no matter what he's been there for me and helping me through the worst of times. I can probably never completely thank him for that. But I try every day. He makes me happy when I otherwise have no reason to be happy. He moved here two weeks ago with thanks to our friend Dylan for driving him. There is a professor who will sponsor him into the graduate school here so he can study neuroscience like he has wanted to for a few years now. It's a great opportunity for him and I am glad we were able to find it. It definitely took a lot of work on both of our parts, but he will finally be on his way to a doctorate starting in January. For now he gets to play his video games all day ;)

The south is very different. And slow. And you never realize how different YOU are until you are in a room completely surrounded by people speaking in a southern accent. 

It is going to take a lot of getting used to. The weird looks I get when I open my mouth are also going to take getting used to. My goal is to NOT acquire a southern accent, but it is hard to fit in without one. My fellow grad assistants, however, are from all over the country, so I feel more at home with them. There are many of them from the south. And most of the Kines faculty I've been exposed to appear to be from elsewhere, as well.

For now, I just keep missing my friends; my Union terrace; my Wisconsin beer; my Ian's; my Clasen's, my ability to choose from 50 billion different cheeses just at the grocery store; the comfort taken simply from driving down a familiar street or walking past a familiar building.